testimonies...

Progress...

With the end of good weather and the busy schedule I have had this fall, the stone house has been dutifully tended by woodland creatures and John (getting the front room done! Yes!).  All is well, it is just slow...

If you want or need to get in touch with me or see what else is going on right now, check in with my more updated blog, just up the street... Yes and Amen. 

Love to you and yours,
jj

(The pic is of an amazingly huge painting on the huge open square in Madrid, Spain. Isn't it fantastic?)

Does Jesus just want your money?

(A message to anyone wanting to ask questions or dialogue about beliefs.
It is quite opposite of their Welcome message & their missionaries teaching)
* * *

Living on both sides of the mormon curtain, I see so clearly the differences in belief systems. I am a Jesus loving Christian in a mormon town. At times the issues are subtle and laughable and sometimes they are so painful - I cry.

Last night, I visited with a really good friend about her struggles to feel good about "going to the temple" and having a temple recommend because of her inability to pay a full tithe.

A full tithe. In mormonism, that would mean a full 10% off the top of any and all income. It is required of you if you want to be a "member in good standing". If you don't pay an "honest" tithe, you are not given a temple recommend. How can you feel good about yourself or your standing with God if you don't have a temple recommend?

To a mormon, this isn't a strange thing to say or feel. It is just daily life.

Shared out of sincerity of her heart, I see the pain of it in her face and how she looks away from me, she hurts. I understand her pain and stress at not being able to "do" or "fulfill" what is necessary to not feel guilt. It is as common as the the sunshine, this constant guilt.

I hurt for her. I lived in this mormon-world my whole adult life. I believed it. I put all my hopes and dreams in it. I ate the guilt.

When I didn't do my visiting teaching, when my family showed up to church un-ironed or lacking reverence, I ate it.

When I had a husband outwardly questioning his beliefs and the pain at not being able to control what he said to the bishopric, I ate guilt. (Was I not worthy enough to have a worthy husband???)

I felt guilty if I hadn't been to church, if I hadn't attended the temple in months, if I wasn't wearing garments, if my home was a wreck when the Relief Society president came over, "What would she think of me?"

Guilt is hell. A life lived in guilt is not a life, it is a form of torture.

Jesus doesn't do that to those he loves.

He gave us the biggest and best gift you can have...freedom. He promised to set the captives free. FREE. It is the opposite of hellish-guilt. In relationship with Him we are free live our lives, not through our right-ness, righteousness, or perfectness. But through HIS.

* * *

Freedom on this side of the mormon curtain is a very different thing. Is there a way to simply explain?

Does freedom mean you don't have to pay "a full" tithing? Yes. You don't have to.

As a Christian, if you give, you give out of a heart full of Jesus for those He loves. You give what God lays on your heart to give (sometimes it is much more than 10%) and in a Christian's life it is an act of worship. An outpouring between you and God, never between you and a Bishop or Pastor.

No man should hold you accountable to a $ amount that you "give God". That isn't God's tithing, that is taxing a church-going-group of people to get to heaven.

Does freedom mean you don't have to do your visiting teaching? Yes. You don't have to.

Look at Romans 12. We should reach out in love, with God's compassion on all people, not mormon only neighbors. Are mormon women all just a name on a Xerox copy?

As a Christian, you feel an overflowing of love for those God puts in your path, your friends, neighbors, widows, children. Being assigned a list of women on a piece of paper that you need to visit - is that how it should be done? Is that really how Jesus works?

Does freedom mean you don't have to wear garments? Yes. You don't have to.

Jesus never meant for you to cook in polyester. He didn't. Does he care more about what underwear you are wearing or what is going on in your heart? You don't need to wear an ironed shirt & tie to get to God, either. He doesn't care what you wear.

Does freedom mean I don't have to go to the temple? YES. You don't have to go to the temple.

As the blood ran down the side of our Lord Jesus, as the winds whipped against His limp body hanging, and everyone standing there stunned on that horrific day at the cross, the work was finished.

What does that mean to you? Finished.

And the veil at the temple rent in two. It tore apart. A veil that was as thick as a man's hand, and so large that it took many men to move it, tore in two. The Old Testament Temple worship was done away with in Jesus.

There is no more keeping God from man, or man from God...no more...the Holy of Holies is no longer hidden but is bright and shining in our eyes. Jesus. Jesus is real, alive, right here, and He doesn't need a building made of stone (look it up). Why would he need one?

Not once did Jesus petition us to go back to the Old Testament form of temples (not that mormon temples are even set up in any biblical form, they are not). He wants us to approach Him as we are and be real with Him.

Without money
Without a temple recommend
Without mormon garments
In the spiritual nakedness that we were born in...
In brokenness
On our faces
In our tears
Without our family and friends
or Bishops or Pastors
Alone
Without ego
Letting go of knowing everything that we think we know...
Just a simple belief
or unbelief

Talk to God and let Him talk to you.

Ask Him if He needs your money.
Ask Him if he is displeased with you because you can't pay tithing.
Ask Him if he needs million dollar temples. (Isn't this the Jesus that had dirt in between His toes? Would they let the real *in the dirt* Jesus in a mormon temple today?)

Ask Him to show you His heart and what He wants from you...

I think you will be surprised. I was.

jj

the desert place

I knew living here wouldn't be easy, but does it have to be this hot, too?

Please God, don't cook me...

jj

It's okay, He is right here...

"the LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
(Deuteronomy 31)

Lord, I have had so many heartbreaking conversations this week. So many are girls that are empty and afraid. Please Lord Jesus comfort them, speak to them, hold them close to you and let them know that You are their hope, You are their life, You are their love.

Nothing else really matters. All can be destroyed or taken away or lost, and what is left?

Where is peace or joy to be found? It is in YOU.

Help them to see You in their everyday lives.
Help them to recognize You in the quiet and in the chaos.
Help them to stop trusting in their own strength and know-it-all pride. It just takes them farther away from the help they really need.

Lord you promised to open the eyes of the blind and to set the captives free...Please Lord, set them free.

I trust You ~You are always here for me,
Amen.

If any friends feel led to pray, please do so.

With grace and peace,

jj

I caught a glimpse of Your splendor

In the corner of my eye
The most beautiful thing I've ever seen
And it was like a flash of lightning
Reflected off the sky
And I know I'll never be the same

Show me Your glory
Send down Your presence
I want to see Your face
Show me Your glory
Majesty shines about You
I can't go on without You, Lord

When I climb down the mountain
And get back to my life
I won't settle for ordinary things
I'm gonna follow You forever
And for all of my days
I won't rest 'til I see You again

Show me Your glory
Show me Your glory

I can't live without You

(Thrid Day song...running through me tonight...)

17th Century Nun's Prayer

"LORD, you know better than I know myself that I am growing older and will someday be old. Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion. Release me from craving to straighten out everybody's affairs.

Make me thoughtful but not moody: helpful but not bossy.

With my vast store of wisdom, it seems a pity not to use it all, but you know, Lord, that I want a few friends at the end...

Keep me reasonably sweet; I do not want to be a saint--some of them are so hard to live with...

Give me the ability to see the good things in unexpected places, and talents in unexpected people.

And give me, O Lord, the grace to tell them so. Amen."